Thursday, March 18, 2010

Give up nursing to get well?

I'm still sick. Really sick. My ear infection came back, too, despite the antibiotics. I now have a double ear infection, sinus infection, and double eye infection (although the eye drops are working, so the eye infections are almost gone). Last night I came home from work, laid down on the couch, and slept until it was time to put Meg to bed. After putting her to bed, I went back to sleep (after taking my temperature, which was 100.7).

Then....we got to have nighttime fun again. Meg woke up at midnight and didn't go back to sleep until 2:30. She was hungry (drank 7 ounces), but really she just missed me. All she wanted to do was cuddle with Mama. She stroked my cheek and smiled at me and just cuddled. I actually enjoyed it. It was 1 a.m., I had to get up for work at 5, and I was sick, but she was so adorable. And so in love with her mommy. I just tried to memorize her little face.

As much as I enjoyed it, though, 5 a.m. came too soon. And I felt like death. My mom thinks I should take a stronger antibiotic even if its incompatible with nursing. Meg is almost 10 months, she's already halfway weaned, and I'm really sick. But Meg does not like formula. One night, I tried to give her 4 ounces of straight formula before bed (instead of half-breastmilk, half-formula) and she refused it. She looked at me like "what the heck is this? I'm not going to drink this crap."

I know "if she gets hungry enough, she'll drink it", blah, blah, blah. But I only stopped starving her last week. I don't want to start again!! And it may be selfish, but I'm not going to pump and pour milk down the drain to keep my supply up while taking a stronger antibiotic. My relationship with the breastpump has evolved from love to love-hate to HATE HATE HATE. If I can't nurse, I'm done.

The amoxicillin is clearly not working. But Meg refuses straight formula. Maybe there's a halfway option? An antibiotic that's so-so for nursing mothers? Maybe the protocol is to try amoxicillin first, but if it doesn't work, then you can get something stronger? I'm sure there is. But if its really "so-so", do I keep nursing or give it up to be on the safe side?

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