Wednesday, November 3, 2010

You Read That Right

Yes, we’re having another baby! I’m due the end of June. We’re very excited, but I’m having a hard time preparing myself mentally for pregnancy. Last time I was really, really sick from 5 weeks until 18 weeks. I had such a hard time eating, I lost weight in that time period. For the last two weeks, I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop. I eat everything in sight, figuring I won’t want to eat anything at all soon enough. Every morning I wake up and assess whether I feel like throwing up. So far, I feel fine if my stomach is empty (this was NOT the case last time), but instantly feel like throwing up every time I get a full stomach (so I basically snack all day). I alternate between trying to enjoy these last few days/weeks before I feel like I’m dying and telling myself I should act as if everything is normal and I’m not going to get hit with terrible nausea any day, since thinking about it does nothing but ruin these last few days/weeks.

I don’t have many pregnancy symptoms yet. I’m not excessively tired or excessively nauseous – I really don’t feel that different. It kind of makes it hard to convince myself I’m pregnant. I haven’t had any trouble not telling people, because it doesn’t seem real to me. If I say “I’m pregnant,” I feel like I’m making something up. Again, I alternate between wondering when it will feel real to me and hoping it doesn’t anytime soon, because I don’t want to be tired and nauseous all the time!

I called the ob/gyn office for an appointment two hours after I found out I was pregnant with Meg. This time it took me two weeks. The instant I found out I was pregnant with Meg, I felt like the whole world changed. I was going to have a BABY! We were going to be a FAMILY! This time, nothing really changed. I’m kind of freaked out about having two kids, but it hasn’t really sunk in. As I said, it doesn’t feel like anything is different yet. I know that will change soon enough, but having 17-month-old really takes your mind off being pregnant. I nearly bought a bottle of wine to go with our dinner last weekend, but at the last minute remembered I couldn’t drink it.

I didn’t think we’d get pregnant before the Blathering, so I figured it would be my last hurrah before pregnancy. At first I was kind of disappointed it’s not. It’s no fun being the only one not drinking. But it turns out 5 Blathering-ers are pregnant! It will still be a lot of fun, just different than I thought it would be. At least I won’t get a hangover!

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