You guys cannot imagine how relieved I feel to have figured out my down-ness was hormone driven. I was convinced I couldn't handle having two small children and the only solution was for them to grow up. I figured things might be better by the time Paul was Meg's age (two years from now). Or, I remember 18 months was a good age. Maybe if I'm really lucky things will be better by 18 months. But then Meg will be 3 1/2, which I hear isn't the best, so maybe not. (It was tons of fun to be in my brain.)
To have gone from feeling like I'll just have to keep my head down and plow through for YEARS to mere weeks is amazing. (Also, it never occurred to me this was something that could be treated, like depression. I really thought there was nothing to be done, short of hiring a nanny.) I already feel way better just from 1) acknowledging the problem is hormonal (and normal) and 2) talking about it. It also helps to realize this is the exact same thing I went through when Meg was little and I know it got better somewhere between 9 and 10 months.
Honestly, last time I think it got better around the time I finally acknowledged it, so cross your fingers I'm over the hump!
Thank you for all your kind words on twitter and here.