Monday, March 28, 2011

Being apart and coming home again

Whenever Thomas or I go out of town for work, it’s hard to adjust to being together again. The longer we’re apart the harder it is (duh). We usually have at least one fight while transitioning back to being together. It was hardest before Meg was born, when I traveled a lot more and for whole work-weeks at a time. I work part-time now, so I’m rarely gone more than 3 days and, really, rarely gone at ALL. Thomas doesn’t travel much for his job either, and when he does its usually just a couple days. It’s more bumpy now than truly rough when we’re together again, because we haven’t really been gone that long.

But, way back when, I remember HATING coming home from business trips. It may stink to leave home, but at least while you’re gone you get to eat takeout all the time (and not pay for it!), spend your entire evening relaxing (no chores!) while watching whatever you want on TV, and having a (usually) king size bed ALL TO YOURSELF (which, may just appeal to ME, as my husband says he doesn’t like sleeping alone). Meanwhile, your significant other has spent the time you were away doing ALL the chores and watching your shows take up more and more space on the DVR. So, while it’s obviously nice to be home, you think the weekend should be spent ordering takeout and catching up on the DVR and your spouse is waiting for you to get off your butt and pitch in around the house.

(I’m thinking mainly of our pre-kid days here, because if you have kids, the stayed-home spouse probably just wants a break from them and the traveling spouse is usually more than happy to oblige, since he/she missed the kid(s) so much. Maybe that’s why it’s easier now.)

I just can’t imagine having a spouse who always travels for work or, even more unfathomable, a spouse who is in the military. Do you or your spouse travel for business a lot? What’s it like for you?


  1. I never travel for work but Uri does quite a bit. He always says he doesn't like it but I know he has fun at those fancy sales dinners and what's not to like about a quiet room all to yourself? It's true he misses Anna but I wish I could travel for work once or twice.
    Also, I know what you mean about having to get back into the groove as a couple.

  2. My husband goes through phases where he travels a few times in a 6-month period, but we've had a dry spell of late. I took 2 trips to see my sister w/o him, but I took the kids, so he had the best and the worst of both worlds (loneliness, lots of chores to do, but all the flexibility he wanted. Not, I might add, that he actually DID any chores. He managed to get so involved w/ his family that the house was still a wreck by the time I returned home)

    Anyhow, I HATE when he travels. I miss him terribly. I don't sleep as well, I get so exhausted by having no break from the kid(s) and all I want when he gets home is to go out on a date night, just the 2 of us. I Crave him. It's weird. And maybe oddly romantic.