Should it Stay? No!

So, my last day of work was Thursday! It has not sunk in at all yet and if someone woke me up tomorrow and told me to go to work, I'd just...go and everything would be business as usual. I'm rather confused right now and sort of feel like I'm simply on vacation.

Anyway, I figured this big transition from working lady to stay-at-home mom warranted a complete wardrobe overhaul and the first thing to go would be stuff I have kept only because it's "good for work." Now I know we'd all like to only wear "things we love," but that's not always realistic, you know? Sometimes you just need something to wear to work and it's not the BEST or your LOVAH, it's just a shirt.

As it turns out, though, I liked most of what I wore to work (which was business casual and not fancy at all, so perfectly appropriate for being at home.) Aside from the items I had earmarked in advance, I threw out hardly any work clothes and a BOATLOAD of crappy stuff I kept to wear on off days so I wouldn't "waste" my work clothes. Nothing bummed me out faster than wearing my favorite work-appropriate shirt on a Saturday and then getting to Monday morning and wailing "I have nothing to weaaaaaaar." I apparently had a lot of good-enough-for-the-weekend-but-not-for-work stuff. And, again, my office was pretty casual, so the bar wasn't particularly high.

This was just my first pass at half of my closet. That's 3 pairs of pants and 32 shirts. That I am getting rid of. FROM HALF MY CLOSET. If you can believe it, I didn't know I had a problem until I thought I should take a before shot and looked through my lens to see this:

I mean, I knew I had an organization problem, but I really didn't realize how many items were in this closet or how out of control it truly looked. (Probably because the messy areas are below eye-level.)

I wasn't kidding when I said I could keep up Should it Stay Monday forever if I wanted to, using just what's in my closet. At this point though, most of it should be a no. I've been through most of the clothes I had questions on, so Should it Stay Monday will be on an as-needed basis now instead of every week. There will definitely be closet organization posts, though. Probably both at Style All Over and here, so get ready.

Should it Stay Monday: Yellow Shirt

I’m in Memphis as we speak (…read?) wearing this exact shirt. I went to Kohls a couple weeks ago desperate for something I could wear out to the bars in Memphis that would show I’m there as an Iowa State fan (for the Liberty Bowl) without being a plain team t-shirt. I was thinking a red and yellow striped sweater, but I couldn’t find anything, shirt or sweater, that was red and yellow. 

You know what I've gotten better at through Should it Stay Monday?
Flattering photography. I'm fairly certain this shirt looks worse in
person, but maybe it's better than I think?

I found this on the 90% off rack. If I didn’t have a specific purpose for it, I don’t think I would have bought it. But it was $3 and I thought it would work pretty well with a red sweater. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find one of those, either. I ended up wearing it with a red zip-up sweatshirt, which isn’t as nice as I’d hoped, but works well enough for my purposes. I’m still not sure about it on its own, though. (FYI, I'm sucking it in pretty hard in that picture. (That's what she said.))

Should it Stay: Yellow Shirt

P.S. If you’re reading this during the actual game (which starts at 2:30 central) I’m actually wearing something quite a bit warmer.

Should it Stay Monday: Christmas outfit traditions

I keep forgetting to link my Style All Over posts here! Last Thursday I wrote about what I normally wear for family Christmas celebrations. We usually have five and I wear a nice sweater (or maybe shirt) and jeans to four of them. Each outfit has to be different because we take LOTS of pictures. (I suppose they don’t have to be different, but I like it that way.)

The problem is that four sweaters per year is kind of a lot. I do repeat sweaters from year to year, obviously, but I try to at least dress them a little differently – new jewelry, maybe a skirt instead of jeans. It’s not that I mind wearing the same thing year after year, or even twice the same year; it’s that I like variety. Aside from the Blathering the last couple years, this is my one chance to really “plan” outfits with makeup and jewelry and everything. It’s fun for me.

The main reason I go with sweaters is most of my family dresses very casually for these things. At least half are also in sweaters/jeans and the other half are often dressed down further. I don’t mind this at all, but I don’t want to be the one person in a dress, you know?

Again, though, five outfits, four of them quite similar, is a lot and usually only a couple of them end up being an ensemble I really love. At least one, often two, I don’t feel good about at all. Take this sweater: it’s static-clingy, yet lumpy, and, to top it off, uncomfortable. But it’s a red sweater and therefore, in my mind, Christmassy. I think I wore it for two, maybe three, Christmases.

Christmas 2009 with bonus baby Margaret!
Also, 2009 Jessica needed to learn to accessorize.

I don’t really expect anyone would vote for me to keep it after I went ahead and said I just don’t like it and it doesn’t wear well, so I’ve already donated the sweater. I do want your opinion on the overall issue, though. If I come up with two or three great outfits, should I just wear them over and over? Or stick with my something-different-for-every-celebration plan?

Like I said, I love planning five different options, even if one doesn’t work out – as I sit there all uncomfortable, or at least thinking I didn’t knock it out of the park with that one, I’m still loving the fact it’s different and that I made an effort. I get a sort of perverse pleasure out of it, actually, that makes up for the uncomfortable aspect. It’s not quite as good, though, as the feeling of being in something I really love.

But the one outfit that’s set in stone already this year is pretty dressy (meaning I might be out of place) and pretty distinctive (meaning we’ll look back at the pictures of Christmas 2012 – which I actually do often – and think, wow, Jessica really loved that dress, huh?), which makes me lean against repeating it.

Basically, I’m going in circles over here. Does your family take a lot of pictures? Does that make it less likely for you to wear an outfit more than once? What do you think I should do? Please comment!

What should I wear for Christmas this year?

P.S. I should say I'm talking about the picture-heavy family celebrations only. I do wear some of the same outfits I wear on those days to other Christmas parties. The set-in-stone outfit I mentioned above I wore to a Christmas party last night!

Should it Stay Monday: Bubble Necklace

When everyone was buying bubble necklaces off ebay this summer I followed right along, because 1. I have very few necklaces, but want to be a necklace person and 2. I thought it would be an easy way to fancify any outfit (totally a word) - for example, for Christmas parties I could wear a nice black sweater, dark jeans, and the necklace. Basically, it was my way of getting out of having to wear a dress, which leads to heels, which leads to ouch. This is the reason I went with the red, because I couldn't really think of other occasions where an ostentatious necklace is called for and/or what color I would want the necklace to be if so.

When it arrived I realized I hadn't fully appreciated just how huge this necklace is. I've tried it on with many things and it always seemed like too much. But Christmas season is here and if I continue to not wear the necklace that has sat in my closet for six months, it's time to get rid of it.

Here is the necklace with the grey shirt I happened to be wearing Saturday. My post was going to be: See! It doesn't work! But...it kind of does. Do you think?

So I need two things: someone to tell me to just wear it already (OR just get rid of it) and an idea of what I should wear it with (Only plain shirts/sweaters? Or are patterns/stripes okay? Crew neck? V-neck? What do YOU wear it with?)

P.S. The pic is updated to show a shorter length. I finally got it to work.

Should it Stay Monday Tuesday: Lime green cardigan

Apparently the long weekend fried my brain, because I totally didn’t think about this until midday yesterday. I had a picture and an outline and everything, I just didn’t DO it!

So, anyway, this cardigan:

The green is brighter and more saturated
than it appears in the photo.

(Also, I threw it on over something else at the end of the day for the photo and it occurs 

to me now that particular white tank wasn't a good choice with the sweater.)

I’m not overly attached to this sweater, but I love the color. It looks great with brown, which is half my closet. I also like it with black, which is another third of the closet. I like how it adds a punch of color to an outfit.

Unfortunately, it’s too short. Half of the time I try it on, then take it off again. The other half I wear it anyway because the color makes me so happy. I’ve been looking for another sweater this color for years. In the meantime, I’ve been hanging on to it, and wearing it occasionally, until I can find its replacement. (Also, FYI, I originally bought it at Goodwill for $3.)

Should it Stay: Lime green cardigan

As I said, I’m rather indifferent about the stay or go decision. I’d like to keep it and do wear it occasionally, but if I have to get rid of something, it’s high on the list. My closet is stuffed and I should probably let it go. But I still want a replacement!

I’d prefer something medium weight and somewhat structured. (I don’t want an Old Navy/Target type shapeless cardigan.) Basically, this exact sweater with some length on it. Have you happened to see anything like it while Christmas shopping?

Should it Stay Monday: Photo cringe

We need to talk about this:

Hi Caitlin! Sorry to drag you into this.
(Ditto to partial Kammah.)

I like this outfit. Before seeing this picture, I thought it was pretty good. I actually took a picture back when I bought it a month ago and was planning to ask you about it, but I thought it good enough to not need to go on Should it Stay Monday.

Where did this go wrong?

A few things:

1. In what was clearly a horrible idea, I rolled the waistband of the skinny jeans once in the top picture. I discovered they stay put that way instead of inching down and have worn them like that ever since. Unfortunately, this also creates a heck of a muffin top. (WHY DID I DO THIS?)

2. I don't think the boots were a good idea. I never particularly did, actually, but I didn't have room in my suitcase for the shoes I originally wore.

3. I also thought the combination of spandex-y shirt with skinny jeans wasn't going to work, but was emboldened by the good picture plus a few people commenting they liked it in person. Also by the fact the shirt is longer than most and I make it a rule to only wear skinny jeans with extra-long shirts/sweaters.
4. Believe it or not, I'm (I think) the same weight in both pictures. Obviously it's not an ideal weight. For a while I've kind of been going with the idea that if I ignore the baby weight it isn't there. Turns out this isn't true! I'm working on it, though. We're going on a cruise in January, so have decided to focus on healthy eating at home and exercising during November/December instead of letting ourselves go and then having that compounded by all-you-can-eat-buffet-January. 

So I have a some questions:

1. Do you think it will always look like that from the side (i.e. would it still with better pants)?

2. If you saw me in this at the Blathering did you think it was an unfortunate outfit choice?

3. If I promise to a) never wear the shirt with muffin-top-creating pants and b) never roll the waistband of the jeans should I keep them?

4. What should I wear these items with? For instance, should the shirt be worn with only non-skinny pants? Or is it good with skinny jeans as long as I don't wear boots? Should the pants only be worn with loose tops?

Honestly, the Blathering picture has soured me on both items and if you tell me to get rid of them, I'm fine with it. But I also think it could have been a combination of bad decisions that are fixable. What do you think?

I would love it if you'd comment as well as voting to answer any of my questions above or just tell me how you think I should wear these items.

P.S. If it helps, here's the pants in a different outfit. I do think I'd like to keep them.

P.P.S. I would like to note I still sent this picture to my fellow garden-tour Blathering-mates even though I was appalled by the way I look. I consider this a win in the self-respect and not-caring-too-much-about-looks department for not only not deleting it as soon as I saw it, but voluntarily sending it to seven people. (And, uh, blowing it up and posting it on my blog.)

Should it Stay Monday: dress + girdle

While I was shopping New York & Company’s Labor Day sale, I came across this dress which I instantly thought would be perfect for the Blathering. I wanted to wear something a little unique and the print is definitely different for me. The dress seemed to be cut well for my shape, but it’s made from thin, clingy material and it emphasized all the wrong bulges. Ordinarily I’d just put the dress back, but it was on sale and I really loved it. Since my silhouette was the only problem I decided it might be time to invest in a…girdle. Yeah. I swore I’d never buy one, but, really, why not look as good as you can look? (I was already picturing myself looking fabulous in the dress.)

My next shopping stop was Kohls, so I timidly wandered into the shapewear section and decided to go as full coverage as possible. If I’m going there, I’m going all the way. More bang for my buck! Look like a model!

If you’ve never spent time trying on full coverage shapewear, let me tell you:  it’s no picnic. Just getting ONE on and off was quite the ordeal and I had to try several others until I got the right combination of size/band size/cup size. (I realized after I should have tried on bras first, since knowing my current size would have narrowed the search.)

I finally decided on this one and it makes me look so fantastic, I almost want to post a picture of me in it. Unfortunately, this isn’t that kind of site.

The problem is, when all my bulges are smoothed out my stomach starts to look like a bump and the cut of the dress makes it worse.

I know I should have taken a picture of the side view so you can see the full (non-baby) bump, but Thomas snapped this quick picture a month ago when I wore the dress somewhere else and I don't want to put on the whole getup again for re-shoots.

Should it Stay Monday: Shoe Edition

Everyone keeps recommending skirts with my Should it Stay Monday posts. I love skirts. I have lots of skirts, because I love to buy them. I think they’re comfortable and pretty. But what SHOES do you wear with these skirts? I have crappy feet and can’t wear any kind of heel for more than a couple hours. Even thin flats make me ache all over by the end of the day.

I have two main pairs of work shoes, two pairs of tennis shoes, two pairs of boots (discussed here on Style All Over, in case you want to read more of my shoe history), and one pretty pretty pair of flats. I also have a few assorted heels, cheap flats, and sandals for when I absolutely need them (like wearing heels to a wedding), but I don’t care about fashion enough to put my feet through wearing them every day.

Shoes #1: the uglies

Look, I know these shoes are ugly. But Born shoes have proven to be the BEST for me. I tried to find prettier ones, but there aren’t a lot of options and I don’t care enough. They may be ugly, but they get the job done and I’m not going shoe shopping again. It’s torture.

Shoes #2: the decent work shoes

I personally don’t think these are as ugly as the black. They’re not pretty shoes, but they work fine for days when brown shoes are called for.

Boots #1 and #2: my loves

Discussed on Style All Over. Cliffs notes: Also Born. I pretty much alternated them all last winter. I love these boots. They are SO comfortable and look great with everything.

Flats #1 (and only): my precious

I think these are gorgeous. I love them so. I can usually make it through a day in them, but not two in a row. I wish I had unlimited dollars to buy a bunch more pairs of Born flats. (I seem to be extremely brand loyal. I’ve tried others, I swear. Shoes of all brands, styles, and price points. They haven’t worked out.)

So, I suppose this isn't so much a voting thing as a cry for help. One of my biggest wardrobe hurtles is finding shoes that work with any given outfit. What staples am I missing (black flats, maybe? anything else?)* What should I buy first? Are there comfortable options I'm not aware of?** Do I just need to let my feet suffer for fashion?***

*I do have brown heels and black heels I like (and neither of them are Borns!). They hurt, but the least of any heels I've tried/owned. I can wear them for a few hours, but take them off the second I can and don't consider them part of my day-to-day options. 

**I've tried Danskos, which are supposed to be good for people with bad feet, but I didn't like them. Should I try again?

***Even in Borns, I stay away from anything with a heel, including wedges and the like. So, tell me: do I need to suck it up and wear them? Or is there another option?

Should it Stay Monday: No hints

As I said last week, this week I’m posting pictures of several things, some of which I want to keep and some of which I think should probably go. I won’t tell you what’s what and am interested to see if you agree with me when you don’t already know what I think. (Although I should probably call it "minimal hints.")

Should it stay: Blue faded

(polls are closed and screen shots are coming soon!)

Should it stay: Green pattern

Should it stay: Purple stripe

Should it stay: Toddler 

Should it Stay Monday: Is this detailing lame? Or OK?

I’ve had this shirt for several years. This isn’t one of those “I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion this wasn’t a good choice” dresses/sweaters/etc. I think it looks fairly good on me, I just am not sure if it sends the right message. Does it look a little like “hey! I’m a plus-size shirt!” or maybe “I shop in the old-lady department store”? I don’t think so, but it often looks that way on the hanger. I pass it over in my closet often, but when I do put it on I usually think I look fine.

Crappy cell-phone picture because my real
camera had the nerve to have a dead battery

It’s tagless and has been washed so many times I can’t read the printed-directly-on-the-fabric label, so I’m not sure what the brand is or where I bought it (I’m guessing Younkers.)

Updated: Poll results

Up next week: No hints! I’m going to take pictures of several things, some of which I want to keep and some of which I think should probably go. I won’t tell you what’s what and am interested to see if you agree with me when you don’t already know what I think.

Should it Stay Monday: Open-Front Cardigan

Alright, up this week is what is apparently called a marled open-front cardigan. What the heck marled means, I have no idea. (Oops, just googled and that's apparently the color, which is different from the one I own. Disregard!)

I got this at Kohl's a few years ago - not sure if the link will work, since all it shows is the item isn't sold there anymore. I've always had trouble styling it, as I don't want to look like a tent (which may beg the question of why I bought it, but don't get smart with me). (I bought it because it was on clearance, of course.)

This sweater was the victim of an unexpected fashion emergency this past week, which only emphasized it's tent-like properties and earned it a spot on Should it Stay Monday.

I managed to find a safety pin, but I think we can all agree this isn't a good look.

And yes, I always intend to cut the tag off, but it has useful information, like the style number that helped me find the listing to link to this post. (Or perhaps because I always forget to do it.)

This is how I usually wear it, taken later in the day when my shirt had finally dried:

If I've learned one thing, it's to not take
pictures in the bathroom at work anymore.

I sometimes tie it in front, but there's too much fabric for that to really work. I wish I could wrap it all the way around and tie in the back, but there's not quite enough material for that.

So. Do you have suggestions for how I should wear this? Should I just get rid of it?










Updated: Poll results

Should it Stay: Grey, open-front cardigan

I'm going to make you vote on everything in my closet

Thank you for your feedback on the Should the Dress Stay post. I have more planned (I have a lot of clothes I’m not sure about!), but I thought I’d talk about where I’m coming from first.

Most of the comments (including those via Twitter or email) said essentially if I don’t feel good in it, I should get rid of it. While this is good advice, how I feel is more complicated (and subjective). I wore the dress to church - that was when I took the pictures - and was feeling quite self-conscious. Then someone came up to me and said she had the same dress and loved how I accessorized it with a belt. She said I looked great, so suddenly I felt like I looked great.

I’ve had outfits I loved and wore all the time, then after months (or years) saw a picture of me in them and was horrified and embarrassed I wore it so much. Sometimes I get lots of nice comments on something I threw on and didn’t particularly like. Honestly, I’m not that great of a judge of what looks good on me. I think Elizabeth said something on one of her What I Wore posts about not really having any idea how you look in something unless you can see what other people see, via a photo.

I do realize if people thought the dress looked good, they probably would have said so and maybe those who said “don’t keep it if you don’t like wearing it” left out “…it makes you look fat” to be nice. (Don’t worry – I didn’t automatically assume that’s what you meant.)

I understand the importance of doing things for yourself rather than other people. I’m sure if I said I felt fantastic in that dress, but people at church thought it made me look fat, you’d say the hell with them, wear it as much as you want. I want to learn what actually looks good on me, though. Also, I want to figure out how tweak the stuff that doesn’t to improve it, so I don’t have to start a new wardrobe from scratch.

I didn’t start this “Should it Stay?” series in an effort to be philosophical and change my whole outlook on dressing. I just had a few things in my closet I couldn’t decide on. I really do want your advice, whatever it is. I kind of feel like I’m critiquing the responses you were nice enough to take time to give and I don’t want you to worry about giving the “right” answer or one that’s deep enough. Whatever you want to say is great! I’m looking into adding a poll, too, so if you prefer, you can just click “Keep!” or “No.” (Does anyone know how to do that?)

Should the dress stay?

I bought this dress at Target this summer, wore it once, then saw a picture of me in it and immediately wanted to throw it out. I think I deleted the full-length version of this picture, so here's the cropped one.

I guess it doesn't look that bad. Something about it just turned me off when I first saw the picture, though. For one, I don't think I look good in sleeveless. Also, the stripes make me look wider (which, duh, what was I expecting?), which is more noticeable in the pictures below.

Before getting rid of the dress, I decided as a last-ditch effort to change the outfit and see if it worked better. I added a belt and cardigan and actually got complements on it. I definitely like this better, but the dress is pretty short and still has the widening problem, making it harder for me to keep. It's super comfortable, though.

Should I keep the dress? Which look do you like better? I think a lot of people bought it this year - do you have it?

P.S. The belt is one of the New York & Company colored patent belts I recommended in this Style All Over post.